Celebrating Errors
In this edition of the newsletter, I talk about errors as moments to linger and celebrate. I also talk about the release of the audiobook project BODYELECTRONIC now available on streaming platforms
Hullo friends,
THIS newsletter is a celebration of errors.
Not for this one, but for the next newsletter I wanted to put out, I wanted to write a prose piece, something more essay-like. I’ve been wanting to read and write more prose again. But, it’s been hard! And the difficulty of it all leads me to a kind of frustration and sadness that makes me want to avoid it altogether, again. I’ve been wondering why I have this relationship with prose (or whatever that means to me or you– much like most words, we all have our own connotations) and I think it is because when I write prose I’m reminded of capital in a way that lags my interest. What I mean is that I start thinking about the audience and who is reading and, if or when I finish the piece, what do I do with it– in other words, are these words worth money and the time and labor it takes to make it make money? (I suppose I unfortunately do this with poetry, and most things, too, in some ways…) I think about my untouched collection of various writings over the years: music critiques, essays, research papers, theses, etc that just hang out, cold, in my documents on my computer because of the anxiety of wanting to edit and publish these pieces outside of self-publication.
I dunno, I don’t think I’m the only one who becomes immersed in a particular freeze and fear upon the idea of writing [prose]. I see it too often, and I’m always surprised at how people push through this feeling constantly.
Anyway, see? It’s already happening. You don’t know this but after I wrote that sentence I drifted away to something else.
Okay so whatever, that ~prose piece~ may or may not happen. If it does, hopefully it will be an enjoyable read and something to think about.
It’s also why I have this newsletter in the first place, to embrace my own kind of prose.
THIS newsletter is a celebration of eros. <That word was just autocorrected because I typed the word errors wrong.
On Friday I had two things I had been looking forward to for months about to happen: 1) a performance at The Clocktower Cabaret in a burlesque vaudeville showcase and 2) the release of my experimental audiobook BODYELECTRONIC.
Early Friday evening I got word that the show was going to be canceled for the Clocktower because of flooding at the venue. They were apologetic but I was more like OMG are y’all okay?? I figured my performance could be rescheduled for whenever, so that’s fine– hoping they are able to get things fixed up soon and smoothly!
The cancellation opened my evening up and I was already in downtown Denver. I decided to go to a poetry reading at the Tattered Cover from two authors I had heard of because of their recent successes: one a recent Whiting award winner, the other a winner of prizes at both Tupelo Press and Omnidawn Press. (The authors are Claire Boyles for her book Site Fidelity and We Are Changed To Deer At The Broken Place by Kelly Weber)
The reading was really intimate and the conversation was so generous and generative. In fact, it got me lingering on those words and their connection, and specifically the word generation– both as familial, but also as creation. They talked about a kind of generational relationship not only with their mothers and grandmothers, but also with consideration of nature and a consideration for what generation and futurity looks like for someone who is aromantic and asexual. Super rich conversation and I’m excited to read their work.
But the real kicker of this was during the book signing. I was asked how to spell my name, and when I did, Kelly recognized my name and said that they had written a review of BODYELECTRONIC. (!!!!!) I was so shocked– indeed I did remember sending them a copy, but I kind of forgot about it after because I sent a number of review copies out and had not really heard back. They said they were in talks with Prairie Schooner to get it published and, reader, I was so happy, it was like the best news of the week for me. You truly never know who is reading and interacting with your work. I walked away so happy to have had an exchange of work with another Colorado poet.
I also went to the Mercury Café Friday night open mic, which was cool. I haven’t been to the Merc in months, so it always feels like a familiar place to return– even if I’m socially awkward and want to perch in a back corner by myself. I read a June Jordan poem and two people were like, “woah, what was that name again?” The name is June Jordan and the poem was “Song of the Law-Abiding Citizen”. Here is a link of her reading it. Of course I couldn’t read it like she does, but I certainly tried. Someone read a Langston Hughes poem. I love how often we call upon his words in the month of February, but I’m also glad to have introduced folks to the work of June Jordan and hope there can be a richer array of Black poetry celebrated during Black History Month, and generally, especially in the face of the continue assault on Black Studies (but that’s a whole other piece…).
Okay, the second error: my audiobook project for BODYELECTRONIC. The error is that each track is 4 minutes and 10 seconds long– and when the track is supposed to end, the space is instead filled with silence until that 4:10 mark. In the case of my one long poem in the collection, it’s actually cut off at 4:10.
Admittedly when I first heard it, at 10PM MST Thursday evening, I was kind of annoyed. This project has taken a lot of work and a lot of time to put together, and the silences make it difficult to listen through without having to skip to the next track. Plus there were some tracks where there were deliberate transition sounds, and of course it is a bummer to not be able to experience those in the way I had imagined.
But as let it linger, and I felt more positive about the result. It occurred to me that this result was very much the kind of thing the project itself talks about, not merely sentience and subjectivity, but also a kind of sovereignty in those positions. It was almost as if the project was saying, you think this is all yours, but it’s mine too, and here is what I can do.
I had a friend master and mix this project, so I notified them of the error and we are taking a look at things. It’s no worries, and I’m sure things will be repaired in time. But in the meantime, I wanted to talk about and share this version because it just feels so apt of the project.
I listened to it again – I’m listening to it right now as I write. I’m letting the silences stay, for now. The silences feel awkward, yes, but they correspond to so much of the poetic content. They feel like lagging– and in fact they are a form of lag in and of themselves. The poems emerge abruptly from the silences, like a surprise. In those silences, other sounds are let in– the cars driving outside, the dripping of melting snow, the muffled sound of the television in the other room, the barking of dogs, the chirping of birds. The poems are given significant space to linger, so at the end of “GPOY” the final words, repeated, “am iDoomed/ to repeat?” the repeated silence echoes its own answer back. This lingering space is true for all of the poems except in the case of “Syzygy (Arse Poetica)” where the poem is cut off, right at the line “there is potential for surprising art–”. And the repeated time of 4:10 reminds me of the tweets of “Ars Poetica (DoomScroll)” in how they are all time stamped as 25 seconds ago.
So, as I said on Twitter, if you like quiet after poems to think about them, or you just like quiet, or you're determined, or you're an active listener who doesn't mind skipping the track when it gets to the silence, THE BODYELECTRONIC AUDIOBOOK PROJECT OUT NOW JUST FOR YOU <3 And if you do listen to it as is like this, wowie!, you’re a champ and I appreciate you. But like, it’s also okay to wait until I get everything sorted out!
Really, this repetition and silence dynamic just seems to further emphasize the exact kind of relationship with technology that the book is exploring and celebrating in the first place. It ties back into the ai poem Electric Nobody in this willingness to inhabit its own space and language while also constantly referring back to the original project, the chapbook, as its original hub. BODYELECTRONIC continues to assert itself and its own universe to me and readers in ways that constantly surprise me.
I do hope y’all will give the BODYELECTRONIC extended network of poetics a try:
BODYELECTRONIC chapbook
For the BODYELECTRONIC audiobook project, with its silences (I hope to get it fixed soon, but until then, I hope you can appreciate this version, too):
Electric Nobody AI poem project
https://electricnobody.github.io/
The BODYELECTRONIC playlist/soundtrack I made for the project:
The BODYELECTRONIC release performances
The BODYELECTRONIC visuals
BODYELECTRONIC reviews
Okay that’s all I got this time. Thanks so much for reading. Feel free to share or reach out about any of the stuff I talked about here.
And of course, celebrate your errors: they hold generations.
–phaentom[poet] aka Aerik