NORMALIZED - April 2025 Phaentompoet Newsletter
Back with a lengthy newsletter on COVID, brainwashing/propaganda, and normalization. Upcoming events: Book release parties, Poetry Brothel, Propaganda Release, Miseducation Celebration
NORMALIZED– Lyric essay / Newsletter intro
Anymore, living my normal daily life feels like a strange paradox: everything is awful and everything is fine. This is what is normal anymore.
I recently had a brief conversation with a friend. They had mentioned deleting a social media post after feeling strange about it. I replied that I feel similarly about social media right now. I wrote, “every day is a further descent into fascism but it’s like oop here’s my lil poem.”
I can and do see horrific images of genocide daily juxtaposed with memes and jokes and music and poetry and American Beauty. I can feel the mental weight, and I can feel how deliberate this kind of manipulation is. I’m made to feel addicted to dopamine. I’m made to have as much of my attention taken as possible. I’m made to feel frustrated, hopeless, full of despair.
And I am.
It’s honestly so wild to reflect on the extent that I have been brainwashed. Every day I encounter my actions and thought-processes that go against what I may also consider logical or ethical.
I sing commercial jingles and crave what I’m shown.
Face masking provides the clearest example of my brainwashing. I socially-isolated from COVID19 for as long as I could in 2020 and 2021. In a country that was intent to just “move on” or, my favorite, “go back to normal” I couldn’t really continue without incurring a variety of consequences, financial, mental, social, and otherwise.
To this day I’m often one of few if not the only person masking when I do mask. But then things would get to me– the way people would look at me, the energy shifts (I’m very sensitive to energy and energy shifts), the passive aggressive questions and comments. I always mask when I travel (I use public transportation, so I mean daily commutes to plane rides [I *always* mask in airports]) I rarely mask when I perform– and whatever excuses I make are just that, excuses. I am, indeed, a phantom, so I’m not especially at social events, but I would say more often than not, if you see me, I’m unmasked at those events. That it’s a conscious decision: I get off the bus and strip off my mask and stuff it in my pocket (I can’t imagine this is the best method of storage…). To the extent that I convince myself there are occasions where taking off my mask would be considered safe activity, I know I am brainwashed.
It is with that brainwashing in mind that I am going to make a bold statement: the clearest way we as USAmericans can resist fascism is to mask in public.
This is to say: if we are unwilling to protect ourselves and our loved ones from viruses and infectious diseases, how will we ever be able to protect ourselves and our loved ones from state violence (which operates precisely by taking advantage of the spread of viruses and infectious diseases in addition to any and all other means of oppression and control)?
The more we learn about COVID19 the worse it is– and all that information that we do have is old because the virus continues to spread and mutate unchecked. We know that it affects almost every part of our bodies. We know that it can hide dormant in our bodies. We know the effects can be permanent. We know it can affect any/all of our bodily systems: respiratory, circulatory, nervous, digestive, affective, etc. We know that folks with Long Covid are suffering without many directions toward treatments or answers. We know that the recent rise of strokes and heart attacks among younger populations is linked to COVID19.
What we don’t know? The precise number of people affected– millions have died. MILLIONS, not tens, not hundreds, not thousands, not ten thousands, not hundred thousands, but MILLIONS. And counting. Every day. We know that other countries treat COVID19 more seriously and, as a result, are not getting sick and are not dying. But we also know that many countries have, similarly, reversed or backtracked their COVID precautions under Western/Capitalist pressures.
But who is this *we*? I’m not sure. It’s hard to say how much we know or don’t know in all of our little pockets of Earth. But that *we* is large enough to do something and make a significant impact, I know that for sure. That *we* is certainly *me* and now *you* because if you made it this far you are no longer ignorant if you were before.
But for my own purposes, the we is *me* because I cannot do anything about *you* and whatever you do or do not do. Which is a part of the issue: here in the USA we have particular opinions and ideas about “freedom” that sound more like “power”: I can do whatever I like at any time and place and without any consequences or accountability. In our de facto police state country it’s an especially strange irony. We can and we can’t so we do and we don’t.
I keep hearing the “don’t normalize ____” as everything is normalized. Our normal fascism. Everything is normal so we just go back to work and when we get off work we escape because work inhibits all we do and all we do is made possible only through work. Normal commutes. Normal wages. Normal inflation. Normal climate. Keep it normal or normal will keep you. Normal rates. Normal curves. Normal exclusions. Normal restrictions to keep it normal.
And normal is indeed the word because this has been considered normal on these lands since the 16th century. When I look at the spread of COVID19 in this country, it makes more tangible how smallpox operated in the 1700s and 1800s. In fact, so much of the functions of native American genocide and the trans-Atlantic slave trade and the Jewish Holocaust are made tangible in this current moment. In looking at Palestine I understand more intimately the Trail of Tears. In looking at the prisons in El Salvador, I understand more intimately Auschwitz and Guantanamo Bay. In looking at how famine was manufactured along the Gaza strip, I understand more intimately the Irish Potato Famine, and I understand more intimately the mass slaughter of buffalo and bison. In witnessing the bombing of Gaza and West Bank and Lebanon and Syria and Yemen, I understand precisely the foreign policy of the USA that has existed my entire life, from the “Gulf War” to the “War on Terror” to the “War on Drugs”.
And one thing I currently dwell on is the use of the present tense in language, as opposed to a future or a conditional tense. It is not that there could, should, would, or will be a World War III; rather, World War III is now in present tense. And I’d say that it began as a consequence of COVID19’s impact on the world, an opportunity that countries like Russia, Israel, and the USA, among many others, took advantage of to further militarize.
And so, here we are, present tense in our tense present. Our abnormal normal, our normal abnormal.
And what I’ve decided to do with my present and presence is write words that speak these truths, to not simply witness but to process/analyze/digest all that is being consumed. To really digest: to accept what is needed and excrete what is not.
This is a minimum, but it is something. Words are something. Art is something. And not simply art for art or art for craft, but art for action and art for honesty. Art with a vector. Art with teeth to chew, to bite, to bite back.
PROPAGANDA– Release of Spoken Word Album on May 9th and Listening Party on May 10th
So here I am, an artist. And here is my art, both present and future: PROPAGANDA
PROPAGANDA is the name of my first poetry LP/album and PROPAGANDA will be coming out soon, specifically May 9, 2025.
The project is truly a meditation on the propaganda that I consume and the propaganda that I produce. Many of the poems/songs present as strange paradoxes: simultaneously critiques and reifications. It’s hard for me to describe the sound, but I’m very inspired by musicians who experiment with electronic/synth sounds and textured percussion– artists like Björk, FKA twigs, Arca, SOPHIE, KUKII, Purity Ring– and I’m inspired by contemporary spoken word artists who turn their work into poemsongs– I’m thinking of Faylita Hicks, Aja Monet, Danielle Paige, Ariana Brown.
I’ve been cooking many of these poems for 5+ years and many of these beats for 2+ years. I’m really proud and excited about this work. It won’t be available on most streaming platforms and it won’t be mastered. I have my reasons for these decisions and we can talk about them, but for now: It is what it is. PROPAGANDA, much like SYZYGY, will be exclusively available for stream/download/purchase on bandcamp.
I also plan on having zines of both PROPAGANDA and SYZYGY available for purchase with the bandcamp link as a QR code on the back of the zine. Here, ppl will be able to hold, see, and read the poems in addition to listening to the projects.
I’m so excited to share this work with you all. The next day, May 10th, I’m planning on hosting a listening party. Save the date in the evening– it’ll be really chill. We’ll listen to the album front to back and i’ll have lil notebooks and snacks while we listen. We can talk about the themes and the process after and maybe have a lil cypher.
Would love to see you at the event, though I plan on having more events. For instance: I’ll be featuring for Sacred Voices in June (June 13th to be exact if you wanna save the date) and plan on doing a set from PROPAGANDA with music.
I released a single called “Mutual Constitution”
You can listen to the track here:
You can watch the visual for the track here:
BOOK RELEASE EVENTS– Events on April 27th and April 30th to celebrate the release of Saint Dymphna’s Playbook by Hillary Leftwich.
Hillary Leftwich is a super cool writer who I’m lucky to be in community with in Colorado. She is the author of two other books, a memoir entitled AURA and the book Ghosts Are Just Strangers Who Know How to Knock. She is a thoughtful educator and offers workshops and author consultations through Alchemy Author Services & Writing Workshop. She centers her writing around themes of class struggle, the impact of disease, mental illness, ritual, and the supernatural. On the outskirts of the writing world, she teaches Tarot and Tarot writing workshops focusing on strengthening divination abilities along with writing. We’ve gotten to attend each other’s workshops, read each other’s work, and be in community together here in Denver, CO, so it’s super cool to celebrate her work and accomplishments!
I’ll be reading at TWO release event’s for Hillary’s new book (all my gratitude to Hillary for the invitations and trust!). The first is Sunday evening April 27th at Mutiny Café and the second is Wednesday evening April 30 at Counterpath.
For the first, I’ll be performing a poem song from MISEDUCATION with artist Angie Ráfaga on guitar (it’s gonna be sick! A teaser for the MISEDUCATION event I’m about to tell you all about).
For the second… I’m not sure! It will depend on how I feel, but it’ll probably be either a set from PROPAGANDA or a set from BODYPOLITIC.
Here is Hillary’s website and links to her books, works, and services are all there: https://hillaryleftwich.wordpress.com/
POETRY BROTHEL - Poetry Brothel Denver event on May 1 at Prismajic
So much is happening so I really hate to bury this particular event among all of these other events. But y’all. POETRY BROTHEL!? Liiiiiiiike, it’s in the name!
It’ll be my first time (hehe) so I can’t give you the full scoop of what you will experience because I will be experiencing it too. But imagine a more interactive, more intimate poetry experience. Imagine having a poet all to yourself, to experience a unique and thrilling poetry moment.
My character is Phaentom of the Brothel, an entity who offers intriguing questions and provocative answers to your poetic desires. The cast is full of poets and performers, and the venue is gorgeous.
Here is a link to purchase tickets. This is the one event where I’d recommend getting tickets as soon as possible while they are still available.
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-poetry-brothel-denver-lore-tickets-1280999827969
MISEDUCATION– MISEDUCATION chapbook 2nd anniversary event: full reading of the chapbook with original musical accompaniment by guitarist Angie Ráfaga.
Y’all, I’m so excited for this event. I’ve been dreaming of this for a very long time and am so excited to see things come to fruition finally.
First of all, let’s talk about my con-conspirator in this effort, my friend Angie. Angie and I went to high school together– we met and became friends through speech and debate. She was an excellent speaker in the event “Original Oratory” and my debate partner Chiamaka and I would often watch her speeches in out-rounds/finals to support. After high school we kept in touch, hanging out from time to time when we were both in town.
Angie has been playing guitar for a while and was in a band called La Ráfaga during her time living in the Dominican Republic (how cool, right!?). Since moving back to Denver, she has released an EP of songs called Ráfagas De Angie . At her EP release, I asked if she would be interested in collaborating. Some months later we met and I pitched my idea: a musical version of MISEDUCATION. She took notes and started developing original compositions for the poems. From the start of 2025 to now we’ve been meeting up for weekly rehearsals.
All our work has led us to this point: we are ready to share these songs and poems. Saturday May 17th at Counterpath will be our first show. The runthrough of the chapbook is about an hour, so we’ll have doors and mingling happening, then the show, then a Q&A session before we close out the event. It should be a really cool and really intimate experience.
For those who have copies of the chapbook and have already read it, it will add new layers of engagement, understanding, and feeling. I’m hoping it will be a cool interactive reading event where folks can bring their copies and have me read the book to you as you follow along. And for those who do not have copies of the chapbook and have not experienced these poems, I hope it will be a unique music and poetry experience and perhaps an added incentive to get a copy.
We are hoping to have other events and will hopefully get those on a calendar soon enough. But this one is the first and it will also be free to attend.
I really really hope to see you at this event!
MUSIC I’M LISTENING TO
As always, there is more to say. But I’ll leave it here with some music recommendations.
My relationship with music is so complicated right now because I think music should be helping us address and process the times we live in rather than provide a vehicle for compliant escapism. I fear a lot of art does the latter rather than the former. So it is refreshing to encounter an artist like KUKII (formerly known as Lafawndah) whose art feels very much in tune with the political moment. Her EP Rare Baby feels sonically fresh with its textured percussion and electronic sounds that feel very inspired by contemporary Egyptian dance/pop music. The intro song “Pact” feels like it is signaling to all revolutionaries to come together and figure out new ways of living and existing in this current fascist hellscape that billionaires are intent on turning the world into. It feels like a call for global solidarity. And that’s just the first of the six songs. In my opinion, they all slap and there are no skips.
Another artist I’m really into right now is Oklou (pronounced like Okay Lou). Her music has this pulse and soul that is both electronic and raw. Part of how that happens is because she refuses a lot of drum and percussive sounds in her production. As a result, the songs feel intimate. It’s like introverted club music, sometimes literally feeling like you are outside or distant-but-still-present in relation to a club (I think of the song “Harvest Sky” specifically, so dancey and yet so muted. The lyrical content also gives the vibe of dancing alone). When it comes to a politic, I think of her music video of “Family and Friends”. A moment of casually hanging out with friends is interrupted by *something* and it sends the rest of the video into a confusing chaos of running and retreat. It gives very much a global sense of uneasiness, how a neighborhood can instantly turn into a warzone.
Some youtube comments really capture some of these thoughts:
“I can't get over how hard this song goes without having a kick or snare. Insane production and songwriting.”
“It sounds like a Disney's symphony, specificaly when it's raining in Bambi's film. You can really feel this song was written with a mixture of melancoly and tenderness.”
“some of my friends died during the explosions that happened by israel in lebanon this week and seeing this video made me so emotional because it depicts exactly how i feel amidst a war against my country and the only solace i have is connecting with strangers through my phone while running in an endless train of virtual thought that i could be running with them in field”
KUKII – Rare Baby EP - Spotify Link
Rare Baby video
Tongue Torment visualizer
Oklou – Choke Enough – Spotify Link
Obvious video
Family and Friends video
Performance on ice rink (so cool! She has ice figure skaters dancing as she sings!)
END
Alright y’all, thanks for sticking with me. Hope to see you at any or all of these events. Thanks for reading and listening and supporting. As always, feel free to reach out and talk about any or all of this stuff with me, this is an energy exchange and a dialogue just as much as it is a “newsletter”.
With solidarity and warmth,
Aerik